


What Happened Last Week?

by diavolostiddies



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Arguing, Attempt at Humor, Choking, Comedy, Devildom (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, F/M, Fingerfucking, Humor, Jokes, Lemon, M/M, Multi, Other, Parody, Relationship(s), Ridiculous, Rough Sex, Sex, Smut, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:48:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27151346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diavolostiddies/pseuds/diavolostiddies
Summary: In the middle of a threesome with Lucifer and Lord Diavolo, you find yourself listening to them argue about the most ridiculous thing you could possibly imagine.
Relationships: Diavolo (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Reader, Diavolo/Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Diavolo/Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader, Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)/Reader
Comments: 16
Kudos: 104





	What Happened Last Week?

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is a joke inspired by a gc on twitter, there is smut at the beginning but it quickly goes off the rails so please don't be disappointed just enjoy the chaos.

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks as Lord Diavolo’s massive cock thrust in and out of me from behind, his hot breath rolling off the back of my neck. One hand was tightly wrapped around my neck with two fingers shoved deep into my throat, holding my head back against his hot chest. I could already feel the bruises forming from his fingertips pressed deep into my skin. His other hand was below, stroking Lucifer’s cock as he pumped himself inside me, his cock completely filling me up as my legs shook beneath us. Lucifer was kneeled on the bed in front of me, one hand focused on rubbing my clit while the other gripped my hip tightly to keep me upright, his nails digging into my skin drawing small spots of blood. His mouth was latched onto one of my nipples, his tongue flicking across the sensitive bud between the metal of my piercings, occasionally moaning against my skin. I’ve already came three times, and can feel myself nearing my fourth orgasm.

“Mmm you’re so tight, maybe we need to stretch you out a little bit more,” Diavolo groans into my ears, looking down to make eye contact with Lucifer. 

Lucifer glances up at the sound of Diavolo’s voice, a smirk spreading across his face. 

He unhinges himself from my breast as Diavolo pulls his fingers from my mouth so I can answer. 

“Is that what you want you little slut? You want us to fill you up and fuck you until you pass out?” He growls, grabbing my face, pulling it closer to his. 

I nod aggressively in his hand and he tilts my head back further, squishing my cheeks tightly.

“Then beg.” he commands, suddenly pushing me backwards into Diavolo’s chest, causing us to lose our balance and fall back against the pillows behind us. 

Diavolo cushions my fall, completely unphased by the sudden shove. He wastes no time repositioning our bodies so that I am sitting on his lap, legs spread wide for Luci to see everything, before he continues thrusting himself inside me from below, his hips grinding against me forcing his entire cock inside me. I moan as he peppers soft kisses down my neck, pinching the skin between his teeth every so often leaving small purple teeth marks against my skin. Lucifer leans down, abruptly shoving two of his fingers into my mouth, causing me to gag momentarily. 

“Fuck Lucifer!” I scream, after he removes his fingers, a smug look on his face.

“Shut up,” he demands, before giving me a passionate kiss, his own form of a quick apology, even though he knows I liked it. 

It is not even a second later before I am screaming again, from the feeling of one of Lucifer’s fingers entering me alongside Diavolos cock. Diavolo pauses for a moment, allowing me to adjust to the stretch, before he slowly starts pumping himself into me again. He is much more cautious than Lucifer, not to say that he isn’t rough, he just takes the time to make sure I am alright, while Lucifer enjoys watching me writhe in pain and anticipation. The two make a good pairing for a threesom, as their personalities contrast each other perfectly, Lucifer degrading and hurting me, while Diavolo praises me from behind, softly kissing my neck. 

Lucifer begins to slide his finger in and out, slowly at first, before picking up the pace. The extra stretch feels good, and the different paces inside me are bringing me close to another orgasm. 

“Are you ready for another one?” Lucifer asks, his voice thick with lust and eagerness.

I nod my agreement, biting back tears of pleasure as he caresses my clit with his thumb. 

“‘Take a deep breath now love,” Diavolo mumbles behind me, slowing his pace to allow Lucifer to push another finger inside me. 

My back arches against Diavolo’s back as Lucifer immediately starts pumping his digits inside me. 

“You’re doing so good my dear,” Diavolo whispers, biting my earlobe gently as he resumes his deep thrusting. 

Lucifer’s lips meet mine again as he continues to plunge his fingers inside me. I feel his tongue slide into my mouth as I whimper into our kiss. I can feel my legs shaking beneath me, another orgasm rapidly approaching as Lucifer continues to massage my clit with his thumb. Soon I am gasping for breath, his tongue still in my mouth as I feel myself reaching my climax, cum spilling onto Diavolo’s cock and Lucifer's hand, my body shaking and hands gripping Diavolo’s thighs. 

After my body has relaxed, Lucifer sits up, his fingers still inside me, and gives me a smirk.

“Now you’re ready,” he says as he removes his hand and sticks his fingers into my mouth. 

I can taste my essense on him, as my tongue laps up the cum from his fingers. He strokes his cock slowly, lubricating it with my saliva and cum. 

I can feel Diavolo leaning up below me, attempting to give Lucifer some more space. He reaches his hand around me when,

“FUCK DIAVOLO!” Lucifer screams, doubling over in pain, clutching his groin.

Diavolo had accidentally punched Lucifer right in the dick when he tried to move his arm around me. 

“Oh Lucifer I’m sorry!” he said apologetically.

Lucifer looked up, still completely collapsed on the bed, an angry look in his eyes as he hissed.

“Why did you fucking do that?” he growled, grimacing.

“I didn’t mea-”

“Is this about last week? I don’t know why you can’t just let it go I told you it was an accident, and now you’re going to try to say this was an accident too I presume,” Lucifer angrily huffs, his head between his legs. 

“Now now, wait just a moment, that actually was an accident, I didn’t know that would happen,” Diavolo answers defensively. 

All movement has stopped, as Diavolo rests his hands on my hips, completely focused on his argument with Lucifer. It seems as though the pain has finally worn off as Lucifer sits up and glares at Diavolo.

“So you’re saying that you punching me wasn’t on accident?” he interrogates.

“No! It was! Why would I punch you in the dick like that?” Diavolo complains.

I sigh, incredibly confused about what is going on,

“Can we uh- Lucifer are you okay?” I ask, eager to get back to what we were doing, trying not to lose the mood too much.

Unfortunately neither of them are listening to me.

“How could you not know that was going to happen, sometimes I don’t know what is wrong with you,” he spits.

“How would I know that I could flood the entire castle with my piss?” Diavolo says, taking a heavy breath.

What the fuck? I think to myself

“Why would you even piss on the floor in the first place? That’s what I mean Diavolo, you never think before you do things,” Lucifer says, rolling his eyes.

“Why did I do that? I already told you why! You left the toilet seat up and when I went to take a shit at 2am I fucking fell in the toilet. If you want to ruin the beautiful bathroom experience for me I am going to ruin it for you,” Diavolo retorts, sounding almost like a child.

“That was an acc-i-dent, and besides, it was just the toilet seat, you flooded the entire castle.”

“It isn’t even your castle! Why do you care?”

“Why do I care?” Lucifer asks, laughing to himself as he steps off the bed, “I care because Barbatos was downstairs reviewing the papers I had spent 20 hours working on when you flooded the castle with your monstrous piss, and they were destroyed. He had to wear water boots just to get to the filing cabinet the next day.”

“How was I supposed to know that? Why are you so concerned with how much I piss?”

“Because it is unnatural! Diavolo you need to see a doctor, Barbatos said you pissed almost 20,000 gallons, that is ridiculous!” he groans, pulling on his clothes.

“I cannot control the amount of piss my body releases Lucifer!” Diavolo grumbles, his hands wrapping around my body. 

What in the world is going on right now, why is Lucifer getting dressed? 

“Maybe not but you can control your petty attitude,” He replies, buckling his belt.

“It didn’t do that much damage, plus it never would have happened if you had just put the toilet seat down when you were done.”

I turn my head to look at Diavolo, he has a frown on his face and is glaring at Lucifer.

“I don’t know why you keep bringing it up, it happened a week ago, just let it go Luci,” Diavolo says, rolling his eyes. 

I think for a moment, I spend almost every night here at Diavolo’s castle with him and Lucifer, but I can’t seem to recall any floods.

“Uh..guys, I don’t remember the castle flooding…with uh- piss..” I interrupt,

“You want to know why you don’t remember? Because Barbatos had to go and rewind the timeline in order to save all the artifacts and possessions inside the castle from DIAVOLO’S PISS!” Lucifer yells. 

“Poor Barbatos…” Diavolo murmurs.

They both stare off into space for a moment…

~~

Barbatos enters the room, towel in hand with his hair dripping wet with piss in front of his face. He is wearing water boots, gloves, and swim goggles. 

“Pardon my language my Lord, and Lucifer, but what in the actual FUCK is going on right now?” Barbatos asks, shaking his piss wet hair.

“I- Uh..” Diavolo stammers, looking over at Barbatos from the bed where he is laying beneath an angry Lucifer.

Lucifer glares at Diavolo, hand around his throat.

“Spit it out, what the fuck did you do?” Lucifer demands, tightening his grip.

“Hey hey.. I-” he coughs, “You left the toilet seat down and I fucking fell in the toilet when I got up to take a shit.”

“SO YOU DECIDED TO PISS ON THE FLOOR?” Lucifer screams.

“YOU DECIDED TO LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP!”

“ALL OF THE FURNITURE IS RUINED! AND ON TOP OF THAT, ALL THE PAPERWORK I JUST FINISHED IS DESTROYED. ARE YOU A FUCKING CHILD? A DOG?” Lucifer yells in Diavolo’s face.

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I DIDN”T KNOW THAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!” Diavolo shouts back.

Barbatos remains at the entrance of the bedroom, staring off into space, imagining himself at a beach somewhere, a cool drink in his hands, the wind blowing on his face, sun beating down on his skin. He turns his head slowly, to look at them.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” he screams, earning a quick head turn from both of the demons.

Neither of them will make eye contact with him, knowing full well he is the one suffering the most from this conundrum. 

“Barbatos I’m so sorr-” Diavolo starts to apologize.

“No! I don’t wish to hear it my Lord, not this time. I’m going to reset the timeline to save the castle from this disaster, and you’re going to sort this out with Lucifer in a reasonable manner. I’m also going to take a week long vacation and you are not to contact me during that time.” the butler demands.

It is not often that Barbatos raises his voice at anyone, especially Lord Diavolo. Both of the demons nod their agreement and they watch Barbatos open the timeline portal and rewind the night.

Once the night has been brought back to it’s beginning, the three of them look at eachother, before Barbatos drops a stack of wet papers on the floor and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him.

“He- he didn’t save all the paperwork I did? Why am I being punished for YOU PISSING ON THE FLOOR?” Lucifer screams.

“Maybe because he agrees that you shouldn’t have left the seat up?” Diavolo answers, rolling his eyes.

“Oh shut up,”

“No you,”

“No you!”

They argue until they are both fast asleep, never resolving their ridiculous argument.  
~~

“Come and talk to me when you’re done acting like a child Diavolo,” Lucifer says, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Oh so you’re just going to leave?” Diavolo asks in an irritated voice.

“I thought that was obvious,”

“Well fine, go, I don’t care,” Diavolo pouts,

“Whatever Diavolo,” he says, shutting the door behind him.

Diavolo and I sit there for a moment, and I realize that his cock is still inside me, although noticeably softer. 

“So..what just happened?” I ask, looking back at him.

He rests his chin on my shoulder, rubbing my thighs gently.

“Long story short, Lucifer left the toilet seat up and when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night I fell in the toilet. I was mad so I decided to piss all over the toilet seat to get him back, but the piss wouldn’t stop coming out of me. Before I knew it the floor was covered in piss and it was leaking through the door and down the stairs. Everything got ruined and now Lucifer is mad at me because Barbatos didn’t save his paperwork when he turned back time to stop the castle from flooding,” Diavolo explains.

“I- I don’t really know what to say to that Diavolo” I mutter, confused and also slightly concerned.

“Don’t worry about it..I am sorry that we ruined our time together with our arguing,” he apologizes, giving me a hug.

“Diavolo..”

“Yes my love?” he answers.

“I have a question” I start.

“What is it?”

“How in the fuck did you piss 20,000 gallons?” I ask in disbelief.

He pauses for a moment, considering the question, before shrugging his shoulders.

“I guess I had to go...”


End file.
